“You’ll have to cheat your friends for her”
If you read a lot of articles on sneaking out on your old lady you?ve probably realized that they all seem geared to guys in big cities. Just because you don?t live in a huge burg doesn?t mean that you can?t successfully have an affair, it just means that you need to step up your game. Those other dudes are playing on easy and you have to default to God Mode. Don?t worry, we?ve got three simple tricks up our sleeve to share with you.
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“You’ll have to get past your friend if you want her tonight”
This trick requires your friends to be down with your actions. Depending on how shady they are or aren?t you may not be able to swing it. First thing you do is drive to whatever your local hangout is and park your car. IF you don?t think your friends are cool, make sure you park away from their cars. Odds are they won?t look for yours but if you?re right next to them, they?ll notice. Hang out with your crew for a while, have a few beers. Then, when it gets close to date time, take a cab to your destination. When you?re done with your date, just take the cab back to your car. You may need to change clothes either in your car or at the hangout, either way, if your lady is checking on you, she?ll see your car parked where it belongs and think nothing of it.
Dig out your merit badges for this one. The best thing you can do is keep a set of clothes in your car or at work. To keep your clothes from getting wrinkled, roll them instead of folding them. This will give you more space in your overnight bag and it will also remove the need for ironing them before your date. Just take a paper towel tube and roll your shirt and slacks around it. Start by folding the sleeves of your shirt across the chest, where the natural seam is. This way you won?t cause a strange line in the fabric. Make sure that everything?s straight and pack it away. Trade out your clothes every once and a while.
Join the Gym
Or any club for that matter. We like the gym because it gives us an excuse to carry a bag and shower without looking suspicious. The best way to do this without causing a stir is to wait till a doctor?s appointment, a birthday, or some tragic event. It?s been statistically proven that those are the times people are the most likely to join a gym.
Tell the old lady that you?ve realized how important taking care of yourself is and then sign up for a gym membership. Next you inflate the price of the gym membership and you take that money to use on your date. All that?s left to do is play the switcheroo game with your car. The best part is that you never even have to set FOOT in the gym. She just has to think that?s where you are.