How to Cyber Without Looking Stupid

Maybe you’re in a long-distance relationship; your lady lives states or countries or even oceans away. Or maybe she’s on a trip to visit family, or you’re on a business trip. Maybe you just go to different universities. Whatever it is, you and your lady aren’t getting any, and it gets frustrating. There’s only so many times you can jerk off by yourself before it just seems pathetic, and she’s probably going through batteries so fast the Energizer bunny has stopped beating its drum. You’ve probably tried phone sex, which can be pretty hot-if you know what you’re doing. If you don’t, you’ll fumble words and come up with nonsensical phrases. Even if you do know what you’re doing, you’re not always in a position for phone sex; you might be in a thin-walled motel room next to a family with two children, for instance. You’ve thought about cybering in those situations, but you’ve always been worried about what to say, how to make it hot for both of you, and how to type well one-handed. There are two main options for cybering: instant text messages through programs like Yahoo Messenger or Skype, or talking to and watching each other through free audiovisual services.

The Text Option

"Impress her with your writing skills"

“Impress her with your writing skills”


With the text option, a lot of concerns, like talking too loudly or saying something stupid, are reduced. At the beginning, take time with your messages. Make sure you don’t use words about parts of her body that she dislikes; that’s a good mood killer. Instead, tell her what you want to do, but don’t make it as blunt as, “I want to screw you.” Build up to it. Tell her how you want to touch her. Talk about what you want to do with your hands and mouth. Describe going down on her in detail, if you both like for you to do that. When she says she wants you in her, tell her about how that feels. It doesn’t matter at this point if you’re being detailed or poetic; both of you are probably pretty close to getting off, and that’s the whole point.

The Audiovisual Option

"Ask her to perform a strip tease for you"

“Ask her to perform a strip tease for you”


Cybering with video and audio is a totally different beast. For one thing, you can see the face she makes when she climaxes. More importantly, though, there’s a more immediate reaction. See if you can get her to do a striptease, or do one of your own if she asks you to. Set the mood by being in the bedroom, not in the living room or the office, and don’t have every fluorescent bulb glaring at the screen. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you want to touch her smooth skin for starters. Tell her that bra is sexy and you want her to wear it the day you’re going to be in the same room again. Tell her how hot hard she’s getting you. There’s very little you can do wrong with audiovisual cybering; orgasms make up for it.

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