I Keep My Loves Separate Like My Wives in “Fable”

The video game “Fable” has a feature where you can marry multiple wives. Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? We mean, your avatar has a different place to go every night, different food, different bed to sleep in, different woman to sleep with, and so on. It’s a pretty sweet deal. All you have to do is make sure your each wife never, ever figures out that you have a wife or wives besides her.

What’s the worst that can happen if they do find out, though? What, they’ll kick you out, say they want divorces, but at least one’s going to miss you and take you back, right?
Wrong. They get into a fight and dump you completely. Then you have to either kill them or start from scratch and it?s a mess.

You have to be the same sort of careful in real life, too. If you have more than one lady, and you don’t technically have an open relationship, you have to be incredibly careful unless you want to lose your apartment or house, all your property, and the ladies you love, all at once. Not to mention that, if you have kids, no judge is going to like a cheater having custody for more than two weekends a month. No, you have to avoid that.

Keep Different Phones

“I keep different phones for my different affairs”

It’s not terribly expensive to get a second (or third, or…) phone, especially if you go with a month-to-month provider. Doing that also means you can get rid of a phone if you have to; you don’t lose anything. It’s also easy to pass off: “Of course I have another phone, babe. Work pays for it. That’s why I have to have it on all the time.” That also gives you an easy out if your other lady calls on that line to demand you come to her place (or home, depending on which chick you’re with); it’s just work calling, so of course you have to go in! Just be careful not to answer any call, ever, with, “Hey, babe,” because it’ll get to be a habit, and then you’re screwed in the not-so-fun way.

Keep Different Social Circles

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“I know how to manage everything”

Some of your bros will be totally cool with covering for you with your main babe. Some of them, though, wouldn’t be, and those are the ones you don’t want to know that you’re seeing another chick on the side. You can introduce your cool bros to your new lady, but, other than them, you’ll want to make new friends, ones you can see with your piece on the side and not at any other time.

Keep Matching Wardrobes If You “Live Together”

When you theoretically like with your new babe, you need to be careful. Got a vintage Nirvana shirt that you wear some weekends? If you can’t find an exact match, shove it to the back of your closet. Get the same cut of jeans, the same work shirts, even the same shoes and belts. No one ever said double loving was easy or cheap.

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