Once you’re ready for your first date, you’ll have to figure out how exactly to do this in order to cover your tracks.
The first thing you have to admit to yourself is that you do not want to be caught. You’d be shocked by how many guys just want to insist that they’re not doing anything wrong, so they shouldn’t have to hide. Well, that might be a great way to get yourself to sleep at nights, but it’s a pretty crappy way to avoid being found out by your wife.
Whether you think it’s right or wrong to be stepping out on your wife, it’s important that you know how to do so without getting caught. Here’s how to have your date and be married, too.
Stick to the next town over.
The next town over is about as close as you want to get with the location of your dates. It’s very important that you do NOT shit where you eat. In other words, make sure you’re not going to foul your best places with the big mistakes you’re making.
Business trips are awesome. If you’re not lucky enough to have the kind of job that lets you take business trips, then make sure you at least have a good reason to get into the next town over on the nights you’re out and about. That way you can easily avoid messing up the things that are closest to you. By looking in the next town over, you’re ALSO going to throw off anyone who’s looking at guys’ profiles on cheater dating sites in your town-they’re never going to be able to check all the towns in the world, so they’ll probably just look at the ones where you live. When they don’t see you, congratulations, you’ve avoided being detected!
The biggest reason you don’t want to bring your new lady anywhere nearby, of course, is that you don’t want anyone your wife, her family, and her friends might see you. If you’re married to someone who has nosy family in every town in the state…well, pray for business trips.
Change up your transportation.
Cars are great for getting from place to place without leaving a paper trail, of course. However, if your wife IS suspicious, she may be having you followed. Don’t sound so shocked-30 percent of married men and women admit to at least having a consultation with a private investigator, so you’re in a lot of company.
If your wife is having you followed, one of the most incriminating things you can do is leave your car outside the house of your mistress. This is one of the EASIEST ways that guys get caught cheating, but it only applies when their wives are already pretty sure they’re stepping out.
If you think your wife is having you followed, drive to one of your local hangouts. Slip out the back (or front), and take a taxi or bus to your final destination.
The thing about most private investigators is that they’re REALLY lazy. They don’t want to do more work than they know they’ll get paid for, and tailing a cab through city streets is more work than they really want to go to. They’ll likely just call it a night and decide to look for you another time. Your car won’t be found, and you won’t have to worry about it.
The other good thing about taking a taxi is that if you get a parking ticket or even a tow, there is a paper trail. If your wife finds out you have received ANY paper evidence of being somewhere you’re not supposed to be, you’re going to be in trouble.
Have a rock-hard alibi. Stick to it NO MATTER WHAT.
About 60 percent of women think their husbands are cheating on them (and most of the time, they’re right). The biggest reason women start to suspect something is when their husbands start acting strange.
Act normal. Be cool.
If you act weird, she’s going to suspect something. Nothing is more incriminating than a conversation where she asks where you were and your response is, “Uh…um….with Dave….yeah, with Dave.”
Have an alibi. Make sure it sticks. Have some evidence, if possible. If you are going to get a friend to cover for you, you had better be damn sure you and this friend are water-tight-and that he doesn’t want to sleep with your wife.
Yet again, being able to travel for business is a godsend. You’re SUPPOSED to be out of town, and she’s already going to be used to the fact that you’re just not in contact every day.
Whatever alibi you choose, make sure it is solid. Test it out from a few different angles. See what questions you would ask, if you were your wife. If it doesn’t work, don’t tell it to her. Try again.
Once you’ve opened your mouth and told her your alibi, that’s it. That’s where you were. Stick to it, no matter what, and you’ll be fine.