A Cheater’s Primer on First Date Rules

The first date is one of the most important steps for any cheater’s dating life. Hell, for a lot of guys this is always the last date, sometimes because that’s all they wanted out of the new relationship, and sometimes because they have no idea how to properly engage in a first date after they’ve been out of the dating scene for so long.

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There are a few rules for first dates. Even if you don’t know them, they still apply, as some of them are only important for guys who are going on dates with women behind their wives’ back. If you’re only just now learning how to cheat, make sure you read this primer guide carefully.

The first rule is to pick neutral territory.

Some guys are TERRIBLE at picking first date venues. Here are some of the worst things you can do, as far as picking a bad place to have your first date with this girl:

  • Pick your favorite hangout.
  • Pick somewhere close by.
  • Block themselves in.

Let’s start with the first one. If you pick your favorite restaurant and things go badly, you’re always going to wonder if she’ll suddenly pop up there, every time you go. If it’s that good a place, she’ll probably fall in love with it as much as you have, and good luck trying to convince her that it’s not “yours.”

If you pick somewhere close to home for convenience, you run the very real (and very STUPID) risk of being seen by someone you know. How sure are you that every single person you know will be willing to lie for you? Even if they don’t mention it directly, there’s no guarantee they won’t mention to your wife that they saw you with some other woman.

There are a few ways to block yourself in. One is by picking a date with a fixed time limit-like a tour, or a movie, or some other kind of event that it’s difficult to leave in the middle of. If you do this, you’re pretty much stuck there until it’s over. Another way is by letting your new date pick you up. A lot of guys do this because they’re paranoid about their cars being found, but this can lead to more problems than it solves. If she doesn’t want to give you a ride away and you don’t have taxi fare, you can be stuck with this crazy girl for a lot longer than you’d ever planned.

The second rule is to be up-front about what you want.

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Are you going into this looking for a mistress, someone to spoil and coddle and pay for? That’s fine, a lot of guys have kept mistresses for thousands of years. Are you going into it for a fling that you want to last a day, two weeks, six months? That’s cool, we all need a little stress relief now and then. Are you going into this looking for someone to hook up with at random intervals? Hey, we’ve all been there.

The important thing isn’t what you want-it’s that you tell the lady what you’re looking for.

Make sure you know that you’re both on the same page when it comes to this stuff. A woman who wants the same thing you want is a blessing. Don’t feed this woman a line just to get her into bed-you don’t know if she might secretly want the exact same thing you want, but is too shy or too embarrassed to come out and ask for it.

Feeding a girl a line might work to get her into bed the first time, but it’s stressful if you ever want to hook up with her again. Once you get in the habit of telling girls whatever they want to hear, they’ll be all over you for things you didn’t know you were promising.

If you can’t keep the story up, let it go.

If you are having trouble remembering your story, whether it’s your fake job, your fake name, or your fake desires in this relationship, evaluate exactly what you want from this relationship.

The third rule is to have an escape plan.

If everything goes to crap, what will you do? Believe us, we’ve been there. We’ve had times where we picked a neutral restaurant the next town over, and all of a sudden a wife shows up. We’ve had dates where the girl’s husband showed up, threatening to kill us with his bare hands. We’ve had dates where the girl was just TERRIBLE, obnoxious, whatever.

You HAVE to be able to get out. If you don’t have a friend who will call you and pretending to be dying at the hospital, make sure you have your phone set to go off at a certain time.

Having an escape plan like this can lead to way more enjoyment of the whole time for you. If you know you won’t get stuck in a bad outcome, you can really open up and enjoy your time whit a new lady. After all, this is supposed to be your ESCAPE, not a whole new set of problems, Make sure it solves more issues than it fixes.


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